What a FoPo Runner Says, What They Really Mean by Karl Meiner

What they say: “God it’s so fucking gross out…I can’t believe we’re doing this!”

Translation: “I secretly like punishing myself, and this is how I do it.”

What they say: “We’re meeting at what time? I want to, but that’s so early.”

Translation: “I’m getting royally fucked up the night before, so this is going to suck.”

What they say: “Guys, I can’t carpool after the trail this weekend! Sorry! I have to pick

someone up right after!”

Translation: “I am going to cry alone in my car for fifteen minutes after the run.”

What they say: “Congratulations! Oh god, no way, I can’t believe you pr’d again!”

Translation: “I love you, but I hope you fucking get Covid.”

What they say: “Oh yeah! At the Christmas Party, right? Totally, I remember that!”

Translation: “I do not remember that night at all.”

What they say: “I am going to shit myself.”

Translation: “I am going to shit myself.”

What they say: “I was so good this week. Like, I just fucking nailed my training.”

Translation: “I am slowly losing all sense of joy and feel only the unrelenting pain of endless

miles of road.”

What they say: “There’s a FoPo needlecraft group now? Fun!”

Translation: “I’ve joined a cult, haven’t I?”